13 Marquee Signs That Didn’t Make It

I’ll be honest, when I got the sign made I gifted there’d be more space for letters. Essentially, what we’ve got is a place for propaganda, comedy, and 50,000 eye balls driving by each day on Lincoln Blvd., but the space for writing is harder than Haiku in a second language. 

Tons of ideas don’t make the cut. 

Frankly, making the cut requires the message to advance the DEUCE brand and/or be funny and/or separate us from the atrocities of the fitness industry… that also doesn’t exceed ~12 characters per line.

That means, we’ve got plenty to put on that damn sign, to say the least.

Here are 13 marquee signs that didn’t make the cut: 

1. If your gym isn’t owned by private equity, are you even training? 
2. F45 is deepfake Tae Bo.
3. LA’s 312 Nicest People Train Here.
4. Less scary than your diet. 
5. Everyone loves us (except one neighbor). 
6. Bet you $5 we’re not a CrossFit Gym. 
7. It’s like Barry’s, except it works. 
8. Less dangerous than sitting all day. 
9. Surprisingly normal people.
10. Workouts almost as good as the espresso. 
11. We hate jogging more than you. 
12. More fun than sitting on the 405. 
13. 50% Less Corny Than Gold’s

Feel free to submit your ideas. There’s little chance they are worse than ours.