Going Beyond the Surface: The Repeating Question

“Don’t do your witchcraft on me!” The barista was only half kidding when he realized I was in Amsterdam for a Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Course. In my opinion, NLP is a remarkable tool for communication, relating to others, and navigating life better than the alternative, but there are quacks in everything. 

One of the many drills we learned in NLP was the power of using repeating questions to get beyond the conscious mind. For example, we’d use a version of the repeating question to unearth core values. Digging below the conscious mind in this case can begin with a simple innocuous question like, “What trait do you enjoy in a friend?” 

One might answer consciously and simply. I enjoy people who like sports. To which you’d ask, “If someone was the best possible sports fan as your friend, what would that get you?”

“It’d be fun,” you might say.

To which the questioner would ask, “Well, if you could imagine the most fun possible friend, what would that give you?” And, this type of questioning can help you descend deeper into the subconscious as to what we really want in life: freedom, love, joy, etc. 

This isn’t the only place that the repeating question shows up.

The Buddhists have used the repeating question as a meditation tool for years. Recently, I experienced the use of the repeating question as an inquiry tool in Gestalt Practice. 

Without getting sucked into the dogma of any of these ideologies, I’ve got to wonder:

What’s the through line here?

It seems to me that the essence of this practice that is validated by numerous unrelated methodologies is the importance of contemplation. Spending time with our thoughts to see what’s deeper than surface level is both a practice and an important practice worth examining. 

Speed is King, but it’s not everything. Spend time with your thoughts. Look beyond. Go deeper.